Currently Feeling: Like we *should* stop asking kids this question
This SubwayTake got me thinking about early we start tying identity to work
Currently Feeling is a newsletter about what it means to be alive and creatively well in a world that constantly overstimulates, flattens, and disconnects us from ourselves.
I write about re-incorporating beauty, awe, wonder, and play into our lives as essential practices for tending to our creativity and reconnecting with what makes us feel most human.
SubwayTakes with
is one of my favorite Instagram accounts to follow. Mostly the takes make me laugh, but sometimes they’re so profound that they make me think long after I’ve closed the app.Such was the case when I came across
’s SubwayTake:“I think we need to stop asking kids what they want to be when they grow up.”
Sinead makes the argument that “kids don't think in terms of work, we bring that to them.” (mic drop 🎤)
She goes on to say that instead of asking kids what they want to be when they grow up, we should ask:
“What’s in your imagination, and can they bring that to life? What are you curious about? What are you imagining right now and how can everybody else be a part of that? Who do you want to be? A kind person, a good person?”
Kareem jumps in and proposes we ask, “How do you want to make the world a better place?”
🥹🥹🥹
This struck a cord not only because I have a young niece and nephew, but because I remember saying I wanted to be a medical malpractice attorney when I was not even 10 years old (!)
(A family member said they made a lot of money and that sounded like a worthy goal!)
But like, WTF?!?!?!?! That’s how early we start outsourcing our dreams to other people’s expectations.
From then on, whenever I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I answered “a lawyer.”
One commenter on the post noted, “When the concept of ‘work’ and ‘productiveness’ is introduced — especially as it’s often asked of children — that sense of the unknown shifts from a world of possibilities to one of fear and overwhelm.”
I would also argue: it shuts down creativity.
Instead of possibilities we’re handed a path (and often one we didn’t even choose). This is where the seeds of tying our identity and worth to work are planted.
Trading aliveness for achievement
We were raised to answer the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and the only acceptable answer was a job title. A role. A form of output.
That trajectory has led us to trade aliveness for achievement, hustle, and external validation. We’ve paid for it with stress, anxiety, burnout, exhaustion, and a deep sense of disconnection.
When we’re taught to equate identity with job title from such a young age, we’re not only creatively stifled, we’re also unprepared for a world where that model no longer works.
I think that’s why so many people feel so woefully unprepared, disoriented (even resentful) about the current job market. We grew up preparing for jobs that either don’t exist anymore or didn’t even exist at the time. Couple that with the very real and palpable uncertainty of the future, and it’s no wonder why we feel so stuck and lost.
I’ll admit that when I quit my job four years ago, I was not prepared or resourced in many ways. Yes, there was identity work I had to untangle and nervous system regulation (and I worked on those for many years).
But what would have arguably made my transition out of traditional employment and into my next chapter SO MUCH EASIER to navigate would have been a strong creative foundation.
The kind that keeps your mind open, your nervous system flexible, and your perspective spacious.
That’s what “mini-c” creativity does. It prepares you for uncertainty; not by giving you control, but by helping you build a tolerance for possibility. When you’re used to engaging with the world creatively, you’re more likely to see options instead of obstacles. You’re more likely to notice what’s working, to experiment, to try the weird thing. And that orientation makes all the difference when the ground under you is shifting.
The questions we should be asking kids (and ourselves)
I love the idea of posing a different set of questions to the next generation of kids.
Better yet — it’s not too late to ask ourselves the questions that Sinead and Kareem posed:
💭 What’s in your imagination and can you bring that to life?
💭 What are you curious about?
💭 What are you imagining right now, and how can others be part of it?
💭 Who do you want to be? A kind person? A good person?
💭 How do you want to make the world a better place?
These questions might make you uncomfortable because you don’t know the answer (that’s totally okay! I don’t know the answer for myself either!).
Maybe they even feel big and hairy and daunting.
What I *do* know is that creativity helps us get closer to the answers. Creativity brings us back to the deeper, more meaningful and more fulfilling, parts of ourselves — the curious parts, the playful parts, the visionary parts that never stopped imagining, even when the world told us to get practical.
Creativity then isn’t a luxury. It’s not something we “earn” after the work is done. It is the work.
Let’s practice 🎨🧠
Give yourself 5 minutes to try something creative just because.
That might mean flipping through an old magazine and earmarking photos or articles that grab your attention. Or rearranging books a certain way. Maybe you grab your kids’ colored pencils or crayons and start doodling. Or improvise a snack from things you have in the fridge.
After 5 minutes, ask yourself:
💭 What am I noticing?
💭 What am I drawn to right now?
💭 What feels playful?
This is how you start reclaiming your capacity to respond to a changing world TODAY. 💛