Is speaking up for yourself hard? 🫣

Because same. Two prompts to help you feel confident + resourced to speak up for yourself.

“Do you want me to tell him to pull over and let us out???” I mouthed, as my hand squeezed around my sister’s arm. My knuckles were turning white.

My mom, sister, and I sat squished in the back of a filthy yellow taxi on our way to JFK airport, speeding down the Van Wyck Expressway.

My mind flashed to the smiling, friendly-looking taxi driver who tried to wave us into his available cab as we stood outside our hotel. I waved him on, having already called a taxi on the Curb app.

“Elie” was less than a minute away.

As soon as Elie pulled up, he stomped out of the car.

“Hi!” I said, brightly.

“HI.” said Elie, gruffly. His tone reminded me of the voice I use when I’m reading my niece the book Buffalo Fluffalo.

(An A+ children’s book, btw)

After loading my suitcase into the trunk, I walked to the passenger side door.

“Can I sit in the front?” I asked.

“NO. BACK!” he ordered.

Oooookayyyyyy.

At this point, I knew the vibes were OFF. Alarms were ringing, sirens were blaring. And it wasn’t from the NYC street noise.

As we made our way east along 31st street, I noticed that Elie was more interested in reading an article on his phone than keeping his eyes on the road.

He preferred to slam his brakes at the last possible second and really loved the sound of his car’s horn.

When we emerged from the Queens-Midtown tunnel, traffic opened up and Elie hit the gas as if his Toyota Sienna was a Formula One car. I couldn’t tell how fast we were going because I was too distracted by how loud the wind was (he didn’t have air conditioning, ofc).

As we came up on a sharp curve a text alert chimed on Elie’s phone, which was laying in the passenger seat. He craned his neck to read it, the steering wheel following his gaze.

In a split second we went from being perilously close to the divider to slipping over into the lane next to us.

“Say something!!!!” I thought to myself. “Tell him to slow down and keep his eyes on the road!”

I checked Google maps to see how far we were from the airport. We were still 30 minutes out.

Just then, a Tesla merged in front of us.

You’d think Elie had a personal beef with Elon Musk because of how aggressively he began to tailgate this car. He was relentless. I said a silent prayer that this car wouldn’t pump the brakes, otherwise we’d be toast.

“At least his eyes are on the road,” I thought to myself.

But I should have known better. No more than two minutes later did Elie decide that he should pop in his Airpods *while* tailgating the car in front of us at 60+ mph.

“Okay, that’s it. We need to get out of this car,” my brain screamed.

Now here’s where I run through the various scenarios of telling Elie to get off at the next exit and drop us off:

• He gets pissed off and literally dumps us off on the side of the Van Wyck Expressway

• He refuses, kidnaps us, and chops our bodies into tiny pieces

• He is shocked that we want to change our destination from JFK to somewhere completely random and calmly drops us off (wishful thinking; not likely)

None of these options were great, but neither was continuing on Mr. Elie’s Wild Ride.

And that’s when I look over at my motion sick sister and mouth, “Do you want me to tell him to pull over and let us out???”

At this point we are all terrified. In disbelief of what’s happening. Thinking of loved ones we may never see again.

AND YET we agree to stay silent and stay put.

I know.

I KNOW.

Why didn’t I speak up when our lives were in danger?!

This experience was a wake up call.

I need to practice feeling confident and resourced to speak up when the stakes are low so I can advocate for myself (and others) when the stakes are high.

Here is a prompt to make you feel confident to speak up (even when it’s hard):

• What’s a conversation you need to have but have been avoiding? What needs to be said that isn’t being said?

Plus a bonus prompt because Elie still has me shook two days later:

• Where (or to whom) in your life do you need to advocate for yourself?

Each month paid subscribers get access to a self-paced journaling guide. Here are the big questions we’re asking in October 👇🏼

Journaling is a solitary practice, but it doesn’t have to be done in solitude.

Grab a pen (or pencil), paper, and your fave drink and join us every Wednesday at 9AM PT/12PM ET for a free journaling sesh.

30 minutes, 3 prompts, and a pretty much guaranteed transformation that will stay with you all week.

As one of our attendees said a couple weeks ago, “The prompts are magic!”