What’s in store in today’s newsletter:
Why I used to 🙄 roll my eyes 🙄 at the question, “What brings you joy” (and how I’m now eating my words)
Taking myself through my 1:1 manifestation coaching
A poem called You deserve to feel joy too
Thank you for being here 💗
Note: This post will cut off in your email, and I don’t want you to miss out on the epic Oprah gif that ties this all together!! You can view the full post on the web here or in the Substack app.
“What brings you joy?”
I’ve written this question at the top of my journal dozens of times. Self help Personal development books, experts, coaches, and podcasters from girlie pops to mansplainers all promise that the solution to your existential crisis can be found in the answer to this question.
Hate your job? Find one that brings you joy!
Don’t know what to do with your life? Do what brings you joy!
Want to quiet the food noise? (Intuitively) eat what brings you joy!
Want to start working out consistently? Find movement that brings you joy!
🙄🙄🙄
And yet.
I wrote this question down AGAIN in my journal last week.
(Except this time I re-branded it into a list called “Joy bombs” to keep it cute).
Why do something I’ve already done again and expect a different result? Good — no, great —question!
What brings you joy is kinda important after all
Well, for starters, you should know that I’m a sacral generator in Human Design. And because I find so much value in this system of self-knowledgment, the joy question is *pretty* important.
As a generator, we are most magnetic when we spend our time and energy on things that:
Bring us joy (there she is!)
Light us up
We love
Excite us
And when it comes to manifestation, we are a magnet for the energetic vibration of whatever it is we are calling in. That’s a word salad-y way to say that the magic happens when we align our thoughts and feelings with what we desire.
Let’s take a real item on my manifestation list as an example:
Spend the holidays at Rosewood Miramar Beach in Montecito
When I think of spending the holidays here, it makes me feel excited, present, relaxed, vibrant, and joyful.
All this to say, I have to tune into joy by taking action on things that bring me joy and actually feeling joyful.
So that’s how I found myself face-to-face with this question once more.
Okay, this shouldn’t be hard. What brings me joy? Joy. J-o-y. Umm… oh! I love the first sip of a perfectly-made chocolate cream cold brew from Starbucks. Making my daily matcha and drinking it from a cute ‘lil cup. Baking Brown Butter Miso Chocolate Chip Cookies. Flaky croissants. In Paris. Okay, why are all of these food? I can’t just eat sugar and butter all day (Can I?) Okay, non-food things… NYC in the fall. Montecito. Ojai! The smell of lavender. Reading out loud. Listening to Cleo Wade, Kerry Washington, Gwyneth Paltrow, Oprah, or Michelle Obama speak. Writing poetry. Reiki. My journaling workshops. Therapeutic art. Making bracelets. Learning from and being around people I admire. Watching YouTube videos of people that live in the Cotswolds. Watching a favorite show (Emily in Paris, The Lost Kitchen, etc.), sound baths…
Turns out there are a lot of things that bring me joy when I don’t ask it from a THIS MUST SOLVE ALL MY PROBLEMS IMMEDIATELY perspective.
But I also noticed something else 🚩🚨
Although I try to sprinkle in joy bombs throughout my day, I noticed that the joy I experience from them is… lukewarm. Like a 5/10 when these joy bombs should be popping off.
Why isn’t experiencing joy so… joyful?
🕵🏻♀️🔎
I started to journal on it (of course!) and I discovered that many of the things that bring me joy also make me feel guilty 🫠
For example:
As soon as I bite into that Brown Butter Miso Chocolate Chip Cookie (seriously, you HAVE to try them!), all I think about is “bad” they are (calories x butter x sugar ☠️).
When I’m taking a therapeutic art workshop in the middle of the day, I feel guilty that I’m doing something fun while my mom is babysitting my nephew in the next room.
I’ll be watching one of my favorite YouTubers before bed and a pang of guilt rises when I think of how my sister is likely trying to get two kiddos to sleep at the end of a long day.
Guilt is a kill joy.
💡I am actively pushing joy away💡
I sat there stunned. I am actively pushing joy away —repelling it even.
When I talk about our aligning our mindset and feelings with our desires, this is an example of how it’s playing out for me IRL.
Thought: I shouldn’t be doing this; this is “bad”
Belief: I haven’t earned it
Feeling: Guilt
Action/behavior: Resistance to the joyful activity
🫨🫨🫨
Okayyyy, so now what?
If you were in a 1:1 manifestation session with me, this is exactly how we would address this:
Non-judgmental awareness: Just like I did in this exercise, we would take a look at what reality is mirroring back to you. What you’re focusing on, paying attention to, your beliefs, and your thoughts — without judgment.
Now, I’ve done manifestation programs in the past that make you dig deep into where you picked up your limiting beliefs, down to the exact moment. Tbh, I don’t necessarily think that’s important. What’s important is that you become aware of your limiting beliefs, so that’s where I prefer to use our energy and time together.
Shift your thoughts: Now that we know what we’re workin’ with, we can be strategic. We’ll write and talk through how you want to feel and the thoughts that will best serve you.
Subconscious reprogramming: One of the things I love about Human Design is the idea that the body is the source of our wisdom, and the mind is a tool — so let’s make it work for us instead of against us. That’s where subconscious reprogramming comes in. Sounds fancy and mystical, but all it means is that our brains are malleable. We can reprogram, or rewire, our neural pathways to reinforce new beliefs.
In my case, here are some of the new thoughts and beliefs I am reprogramming into my subconscious:
I am excited to spend my day experiencing joy, satisfaction, and doing things I love
I am in awe of and endlessly grateful for the joy I get to experience
Notice and take action: With subconscious programming, these new beliefs will be reinforced. Your brain will start looking for evidence of these beliefs being true — remember, our brain is a tool that works for us! Once you start to think differently, you begin to act differently and that’s when your outer world starts reflecting your inner world. Combine this with living by your human design strategy and authority, and ohhhh watch your life change. 😮💨😮💨😮💨
Release: And now we let it go. I know! How annoying! But this is also the really fun part. THIS is where the magic happens. This is where opportunities will appear that you wouldn’t have seen otherwise because your mind wasn’t looking for them/didn’t believe in them. Now, your manifestation may not look EXACTLY like what you had envisioned to a T — we think we know exactly what we want, but sometimes we don’t really know, ya know? In fact, what manifests may look better and be so much more. Let life surprise you ✨
If you really want to f*ck around and find out what you can manifest into your life, I’m offering 1:1 manifestation guidance to 3 people this month.
You’ll receive four 60-minute 1:1 manifestation coaching calls, tailored to:
Transforming your limiting beliefs so you feel confident, capable, and worthy of playing BIG
Elevating your energetic vibration so you can shift your reality
Equipping you with easy, grounded, and practical skills that make manifestation a way of life
Investment: Pay what you can, per session1
I know what it’s like to sit on the sidelines and scroll past photos of others holding a “Sold!” sign in front of their dream house; or spending the summer in Cape Cod or on the Amalfi Coast; or building empires from ideas you’ve had yourself!
Why not you, friend?
Why not YOU?
When you’re ready, reply to this email with “I’m IN!” and we’ll get started ✨
This payment should represent/be indicative of you making a meaningful investment in yourself. A suggested range can be anywhere from $50-$250 per session.